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People will not like, admire, respect, value, trust, appreciate, want to please or want to be with you if you can't persuade and influence them and make them believe that you deserve those feelings and actions from them, and that you possess positive attributes that warrant their positive feelings and actions, and that you're worth it. Do people like you? Maybe they find you to be interesting, funny, intelligent, trustworthy, reliable, or like the way you look? In other words, how do people establish an impression, an image, or feelings about you? You provide them the information they need to create a mental/emotional profile of you. You are persuading and influencing a person's mental profile of you via the way look, your actions, abilities, wealth (not just financial), strengths, weaknesses, ability to communicate, etc. Of course they will make their own assessment of you regardless of what you present, but you can definitely manipulate, persuade, and influence their perception and impression of you in a positive or negative way. It happens the first time you interact with a person and every time you interact with that person thereafter. You automatically update your mental profile of them and they will automatically update their mental profile of you. The process is dynamic and automatic; occurring on a conscious and a subconscious level, and often with the person knowing it is happening.
The ability to persuade and influence people is a key factor in achieving a high state of social wellness. In fact, your ability or inability to socialize and persuade people affects every aspect of your life. Every social interaction is dynamic and complex at some level or in some way. During an interaction with another person, both people are affecting, influencing, and persuading each other consciously and subconsciously. An interaction is rarely equally balanced and equally fair to both of you. You both may affect each other, but one of you is persuading the other more. It's either that you are persuading them or that they are persuading you. Whether you realize it or not, consciously or subconsciously, it's happening. Social interactions are way too important to ignore, so what can you do to improve your social interactions skills and encounters?
Your job is to improve your social wellness skills and ultimately learn how to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, finesse, delegate and interact effectively with other people. It may take time, effort, and plenty of practice, but the benefits make it well worth it. The development of your personal social wellness skills will help enable you to develop in every area of your life-wellness and ultimately have the lifestyle that you always wanted.
You can improve your social wellness skills with the right approach and enough effort. As with most things, it's best to do it little-by-little, step-by-step on a consistent basis, by improving and tweaking with each social encounter. Every time you socialize with another person, you're using your persuasion skills on them and they are using their skills on you. Even if both of you say nothing and do nothing, something is happening. You're both affecting and influencing each other in some way. It is simply unavoidable. It's important to be aware and mindful of the dynamic interaction and persuasion during any social encounter.
The key to effective persuasion is to provide positive motivation that encourages others to want to do what you want, because they have a desire for gain, and not because they have a fear of loss or anticipate pain if they don't. The objective is to influence and persuade others, but not to control them. Trying to control someone is totally different than trying to influence and persuade them. It is best to finesse them with honey instead of pushing and forcing yourself and your beliefs on someone. Social interactions are mostly about the other person that you're interacting with and not necessarily about you. Pushing or forcing your views and opinions on someone else usually doesn't work well. It tends to turn the other person off and makes them think badly of you.
In order to learn the ability to influence people, we must think about people who possess this power of persuasion. Influential people have certain characteristics and personality traits that distinguish them from other people. They appear to be calm, confident, alert, enthusiastic, energetic, but do not come across as overwhelming, self-centered, cocky, annoying, anxious, or nervous. They seem to be in control of themselves, their choices, and their destiny, and seem able to sort out and define what matters. They don't just follow the norm, but think for themselves. They are open-minded and strive to learn from various sources. They are good listeners and make others feel heard and understood. They always seem to know exactly what to say and when to say it. They are a powerful and good influence on themselves and on everyone that they interact with. Most of them come across as being smart, witty, funny, and caring individuals. Wow, it's no wonder we think well of them. Do your communication skills, charisma, and presence make you seem like you have these characteristics? Trying to learn and become a person with all of those positive characteristics seems almost impossible, but striving to improve and become a better person is something everyone should do throughout their lives. Remember, proceed little-by-little, and one step a time and with consistency, and this will help your progress. By reading this article, you've already started on your journey to improve your social wellness skills and master the art of persuasion.
As with any other skill, the ability to persuade people requires a natural ability and/or ability to learn the necessary techniques and methods, and be able to apply what you've learned when socializing with other people.
In order to persuade someone, you must find out what motivates them and then provide that motivation. Most people are motivated by something. They want more health, wealth, success, respect, love or happiness, and these influential people use these wants to motivate and persuade them. People tend to want more and more of the things they value and enjoy in life, so find out what it is the person values, and help them obtain it. It's a balancing act, but remember that it's all about the other person and not about you.
It's how you make a person feel that will ultimately determine if they will open up, share their feelings, and sway your way. Take notice if you're coming across in a sincere and meaningful manner when communicating with another person. Are you listening and using your listening skills to hear what they have to say and make them feel heard and understood? Do you seem like you sincerely care about them and their situation? Do you seem trustworthy, credible, and reliable? Is your verbal and body-language communication demeanor appropriate and fitting, and do they match the situation and the person you're interacting with?
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