Let's face it, there's always something that rocks the boat, causing instability and vulnerability within us.
Commiting self-sabotage usually has something to do with external circumstances that impact our ability to maintain a healthy emotional attitude. It can also be due to a multitude of physiological self identity problems of low self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-belief and self-effacing behaviors, etc.
A part of the problem has to with our inability to manage our emotions effectively. We tend to react badly to events, circumstances and people in ways that hinder our progress and often prevent us from reaching our normally achievable goals and objectives.
Self-sabotage is often used as a coping mechanism to deal with difficult situations or with our unrealistic high expectations of ourselves, others, and life in general.
Self-sabotage can manifest in our lives in various ways. Our fears and inabilities to cope and overcome both goals and challenges are prohibiting us from live a happy, healthy, and successful life..
The questions are; how do we react to them, and how do they affect us?
A big contributing factor, aside from external negative circumstances, is that we lack the ability to directly communicate and control our body and our subconscious mind. We can make our body move, and we consciously take control of our breathing, eating, and blinking, but we can't take control of anything else.
Our body and our subconscious mind are constantly communicating with each other, mostly without our input. They are accustomed to their routine, making up a lot of who we are. They like the idea that they are in charge, and for the most part, they are. As a result, they will try to resist anything new that will that bring about a change that they do not deem in their best interest.
Self-sabotage episodes are often the result of a conflict that exists between our conscious desires and our unconscious wants. Our subconscious mind is very powerful, and persistent, in getting what it wants, regardless of what we want or think is best, on a conscious level.
This struggle within is most likely the thing that prevents us from reaching our goals. The subconscious mind tries to do what it thinks is best for us. It serves as a safety mechanism that protects us against disappointment and from getting hurt. That doesn't mean that it is same as what you want or what you think is best for you. Hence, the conflict within continues.
If only we could communicate with and have control over our subconscious mind. We would still want the subconscious mind to handle all the behind the scenes functions that it currently does, we just want to have control when we want to take over, in the same way that we can take control of our breathing.
What can we do to stop, or at least minimize self-sabotage?
Fortunately for us, there are a lot things we can do to help ourselves and overcome our struggle with self-sabotage.
The subconscious mind tends to respond well to conditioning brought about through consistent repetition. In other words, it takes time for the subconscious mind to let in and except new information and commit it to memory. Once the new information is in, it's locked in securely.
Knowing that, you now have the knowledge and the strength to manipulate and control both the subconscious mind and your body.
Below is a list steps that you need to take to win the fight against self-sabotage.
Step 1: Identify your self-sabotage behavior.
Step 2: Accept that you self-sabotage.
Step 3: Identify reasons why you self-sabotage.
Step 4: Identify what triggers you to self-sabotage.
Step 5: Introduce new healthy replacement behavior routines.
Step 6: Practice the new replacement behavior routines until deep-rooted habits are formed.
Step 7: Maintain the course over time.
Through practice and conditioning, you'll be able to manipulate and minimize your need to self-sabotage.
Think about who you are and the things that you want to do.
Everyday make small insignificant and significant changes. Introduce small things into your daily routines and activities.
Take the time to see who you are, how you behave, how you interact with people, and how you approach every thing in life.
How we think and behave defines who we are as human beings.
It takes time.
Just keep doing it!
Focus on Solutions