Are you sabotaging yourself and being destructive to the people and things around you? Do you find that you're often stressed out, negative, or in a bad mood? The answer may not be so obvious, so take your time and think about these questions before you answer yes or no. If you answered yes to the questions listed above, you are in a destructive mode pattern.
Is being destructive part of your personality, or did you recently become that way? Sure, things happen that contribute towards the problem, but what did you do to put yourself in this negative situation? Pause and think before you dismiss the question as though nothing is your fault, and you're the poor victim in every situation.
Again, things will happen, and some people can be difficult to deal with, but trying to push and force your way to get what you want is not the answer. Sooner or later, you will probably pay a big price for having that type of attitude.
Most of the people you interact with are the way they are, and they may never change. Some are comfortable with the way they are, and some seem lost. Then there those who are naturally dysfunctional and they will probably remain dysfunctional for the rest of their lives. Do not see people as your peers on your level. Instead, see and accept them for who they are, imperfect.
Do not expect people to change or always do the right thing. It's you who has to change, and it's you who has to do the right thing.
You're hurting yourself and those around you by being destructive, but how can you stop the negativity and create positive changes? The answer is taking one step at a time in the right direction, and you will improve your life-wellness and your lifestyle. In order to make that happen, you have to mentally envision yourself being a more well-rounded and well-balanced person. You also have to have faith and believe that you can do it. If you can't envision it, or if you don't believe that positive change is possible, it's probably never going to happen. So, focus on envisioning that those changes have already happened. The more realistic you can envision these changes, the closer you'll be towards creating it.
We all have the potential to be self-destructive in certain ways and at various times in our lives, but there are degrees in which we commit self-sabotage. We know that we shouldn’t act against our self-interest, but we do. For some of us it’s chronic and for others, it’s much less. Regardless of why we hurt ourselves, we need to figure out how we can minimize self-destructive thoughts and behavior.
One of the first things we need to do is to identify when we’re in a destructive mode and when we in a constructive mode. Let’s quickly define what “self-constructive mode” is in this case, so we can be on the same page as we continue.
The term "mode" in this case, describes how a person chooses (consciously or unconsciously) to act or react to any option that's presented to them. Whether we realize it or not, we react and adjust to every emotion and every situation that we experience. We place ourselves in a "mode" in order to deal with a situation, much in the same way an actor gets ready to play a role in a movie, or how we automatically switch to the fight or flight syndrome mode when we fear potential danger. The word “mode”, in this case, also refers to the way, or the manner, in which something occurs, is done, and experienced. It describes the method, style, and approach that you use while in a situation.
There is a mode for every emotion and situation. For example, happy mode, angry mode, silly mode, serious mode, stressed out mode, anxious mode, excited mode, exhausted mode, hungry mode, etc. The key is to identify whether you’re in a constructive mode and destructive mode, and establish why you’re in that particular mode. With practice, you’ll become more aware of the “mode” that you’re in, and learn how to adjust your behavior so you can bring out the best in you, and create the best experience possible.
Being destructive can be defined as causing destruction or damage, while being constructive is the opposite. In constructive mode you are emphasizing positivity, hopefulness, and good. Being constructive has to do with promoting a positive and helpful attitude to further improve and advance development and achievement in an effort towards serving a useful purpose.
The following two sentences can help show how constructive advice and criticism can be useful and positive, with the intention to help and improve something. “She criticized my writing, but in a way that was very constructive. If you don't have anything constructive to say, it’s better to say nothing. Giving advice and criticism tends to be negative, but when it’s done in a constructive manner, it’s positive and productive. Words that help to describe “constructive” include, useful, helpful, productive, positive, encouraging; practical, valuable, profitable, worthwhile, improvement, promoting further development or advancement, and the ability to promote better understanding.
Constructive mode is also about having a positive attitude, and taking positive action to improve what you have, and also to improve and strengthen your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. It's about making wise and healthy choices that will give off positive results both now, and in the future. It’s also about creating tiny, small and sustainable positive habits in every area of your life-wellness. Constructive mode is also about the understanding that life is short, and that most of the problems we deal with can be handled without drama, fear, stress, etc.
It’s not about what happens in life, but how we interpret and react to it that ultimately matters. We cannot be scared and without fear, nor can we be stressed out if we don’t react to the stressors and challenges that threatened us.
It’s important to remember that there are people who are currently dealing with horrible, life-threatening problems. We’re not talking about those people. We’re talking about the people who are creating their own problems, through self-sabotage, self-abuse, and destructive behaviors. Hopefully, you’re not faced with life-threatening problems, so you should make a strong and consistent effort to place yourself in the appropriate self-constructive mode that best suits each situation.
Chances are that if you're in destructive mode, you’re hurting yourself and those around you, but how can you stop the negatively and create positive change? The answer is, one step at a time in the right direction, and you will improve your life-wellness and your lifestyle. In order to make that happen, you have to mentally envision yourself being a better well-rounded and well-balanced person. You also have to have faith and believe that you can do it. If you can't envision it or if you don't believe that positive change is possible, it's probably never going to happen. So, envision that those changes already happened. The more realistic that you can envision these changes, the closer you'll be towards creating those changes. Mindfulness of the type of mode that you’re in is a key element towards achieving a happy and successful lifestyle.
From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, put yourself in a self-constructive mode as often as possible.
At various times throughout your day, pause and reflect on your actions, so you figure out if you’re in destructive mode. You can then make small changes in your approach, and in your behavior.
Being fully aware of your thoughts, intentions and behavior is a critical element to placing yourself in the correct self-constructive mode that best deals with the current situation.
Tips and Ideas
Below are a few thoughts that can help you can remain in a “constructive mode” throughout the day.
1) What happens in life is important, and we often have very little, or no control about that, but we do have some control on how we interpret and react to what happens, and that difference can make a huge difference in most situations.
2) We cannot be scared if we're not fearful, and we cannot we be stressed out if we don't react to these stressors and challenges that threaten us.
3) We will create a better situation and ultimately a better life if we approach every situation with the understanding that every minute is precious and that our minutes should be filled with inner-peace, love, harmony, and meaning. We call this the “1 minute rule”.
4) In order to make that happen we must put ourselves in a mode were we can build, create, and extract meaning out of our experiences in life.
5) It is extremely difficult to have inner-peace and enjoy the wonderful things that life has to offer when we're nervous and full of anger, hatred, and destruction. Only from a calm place can one find inner-peace and harmony.
6) We make choices every minute of every day throughout our lives. Choose how you will experience your minutes wisely, for you will never get another opportunity to experience that same moment.
So, put yourself in "constructive mode" and create a life that filled with inner-peace, love, tolerance, meaning, joy, and success. And if you're really lucky, you might experience some moments filled with happiness.
These things are not achievable if you're in a destructive mode. So choose how you want to live your life and take action to make it happen.
Life is quickly passing by, so don't hesitate and procrastinate.