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The Art Of Social Wellness Requires Skills

The art of social communication

Human beings tend to survive and thrive better in groups then in isolation. We are social animals by nature, and social wellness is an important key aspect of achieving happiness, success, and maintaining a well-rounded and well-balanced lifestyle. From the time we're born and throughout our lives, our survival, success, and happiness largely depend on others' effort to care for and influence our state of being. We are, to a large extent, in the hands of others from the time we're infants until we can fend for ourselves. Even as adults, we're influenced, controlled and manipulated in one way or another by various people until we die. People such as our parents, family members, teachers, friends, bosses, colleagues, and even the acquaintances and strangers that we encounter play a role. World events caused by people we don't even know can profoundly affect us, our behavior, our destiny and our world. We're deeply influenced by others, and we learn about the world around us through experiences that we share with other people. Our connection and experiences with other people affects and shapes our total state from our health, education, careers, and environment to our happiness and success in life. The impact others have on our lives can make all the difference. Our success or failure, happiness or misery, health or illness, fortune or destitute state in life often involves the influence of someone else. The ability to succeed socially and maintain a high state of social wellness is simply too important to take for granted. So how do we create and maintain good relationships and good encounters with others so that we can achieve and maintain a good state of social wellness, life-wellness and happiness? Well let's break it down a little to make it easier to understand.

All forms of social communications, including face to face, over the phone, written, or via some type of technology such as email, texting, or video chat like skyping, exposes us and makes us vulnerable to others in one way or another. As with other things in life, social wellness requires effort and skills that can be developed and cultivated over time.

Some people seem to have a gift, a talent, even a knack for creating new relationships while maintaining old ones. They have a charismatic personality and tend to draw people to them easily and naturally. These types of folks generally have numerous active relationships and a vast social-network. Some people are actually born with this talent or develop it from a young age. For instance, my nephew Jack was born with an amazing talent to deal with people. From the time he was three years old, Jack sat with the adults at the dinner table during get-togethers, while the other kids (some older) sat at a different table. All the adults, including me, wanted be around Jack and hear what he had to say. He seemed to have a natural knack for knowing what to say, but not to overdo it. He would always come across as a smart, loving, caring, sweet boy who is full of charisma and has a real zest for life. He is a pleasure to be around and I'm still curious as to what he'll say next. He's interesting but not annoying. He can start a conversation with an adult, drawing them in with his charm and wit and with minimal effort. I've observed times where an adult would hesitate to talk to Jack because he's so young, but is drawn into a dialog anyway. He is simply delightful to be around. I've known a lot of people in my life who are good at socializing but he proved to me that a person can be born with an amazing gift, a talent to socialize well.

Other people unfortunately, seem to consistently have difficulties and problems with people at every social interaction, regardless of the situation and the other person. Most of these people mean well but they're simply not good at socializing, even at a basic level. They tend to be shy, lonely, and socially inexperienced people who need to improve their basic social skills in order to catch up to everyone else. During a social encounter, they may feel fear, stress and anxiety which usually turns into an awkward, tension filled, problematic situation. Their shyness, fears, insecurities, awkwardness, and lack of confidence tends to isolate them.

It is possible to overcome many of these issues and succeed in a social setting. Becoming a social butterfly, superstar, schmoozer, or salesman is probably unlikely, but coping and managing "normal" social encounters effectively is very possible for many of these folks. Developing and improving social skills requires time and effort to learn the necessary techniques, as well as plenty of practice. You can improve, but it requires energy and desire. You must also take action if you want to progress. Step-by-step and little-by-little, you'll improve if you do it on a consistent basis.

Some individuals have the opposite problem in that they are too outspoken, too outgoing, and say anything and everything that enters their mind. They tend to be selfish, self-centered, opinionated, and irritating to be around. They will start a conversation or pick a topic just so they can talk and talk and talk. To succeed socially, these folks need to practice more self-control and learn to filter what comes out of their mouth. They would also benefit from learning body language, and developing an ear for listening well.

Then there are some people who are cold, nasty, self-centered, very aggressive, confrontational, and want to push their way through life, hurting anyone who gets in their way. These types of people are considered "new souls" and they'll be that way throughout their present life as well as the next. There is no way to change them nor should you try. They tend to be closed minded individuals who will only change if the encounter a life changing experience that shakes up their world. It's best to avoid them whenever possible. Not to worry, you're not one of those people. I know because you're reading this article and that's something they would never do.

Social wellness is way too important to ignore or take for granted. Keep reading, researching, and practicing the art of social wellness. You have to practice the skill, so get out there and socialize.


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