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Strengthen Your Emotions - Are You Emotionally Needy And Clingy?

Everyone wants to feel love and affection, be accepted, believed in, valued, cared for, forgiven, safe, supported, trusted, understood and appreciated by others. But it's when those feelings turn into desperation, due to insecurities and fears that they're not worthy or that they can't get enough validation, they become emotionally needy. Everyone is emotionally needy at some level, and having emotional needs is normal, but craving nonstop approval and a willingness to do almost anything to get it is not appropriate behavior.

An emotional needy person needs constant assurance in order to feel good about themselves, and it's often at someone else's expense. Generally, their needs can not be filled unless they break this emotional pattern and become independent and self-reliant. This is needed because they can never get enough assurance and emotional support from others to make them feel fulfilled, secure, satisfied and complete. In most cases, these people really don't to be emotionally needy and dependent on others. They need to have their feelings consistently validated, but don't know how to change and stop this dysfunctional behavior. The core reason for this behavior can vary, but often, emotional neediness stems from prior emotional abuse and neglect, and other times, has more to do with control issues. Of course, there are degrees to emotional neediness and everyone is unique in their own way. Regardless of the reason, insecurity, fear, or lack of emotional control, they are compelled to think and behave badly around others.

You don't want to be with a needy and clingy person who is constantly draining and depleting your energy and emotion. Being around an annoying dysfunctional person is as irritating as dipper rash. Who would want that and who needs that. Well the same thing applies to you; no one wants to be with you if you're an emotionally dysfunctional person. Chances are that everyone will distance themselves from you, or avoid you all together. It's a catch-22 where the more you express your neediness to people, the more they'll pull away, treat you badly, take advantage of you, and isolate you. It is destructive behavior and not how you want to live your life. You're sabotaging your relationships and social wellness.

You don't want the others to think of you as being weak, or having a lot of personal issues. Once others think that you're weak and needy, they will automatically lower your value or worth level in their mental profile of you. It is usually very difficult to change peoples minds once they perceive you in a negative manner. They may deal with you because they have to, or out of sympathy for you because you're nice, but generally they will treat you differently and think of you with low regard. Remember that these people are not totally wrong to feel this way; you are at fault for being emotionally weak and needy. Dumping you emotions and self=control issues on another person, especially your partner, is wrong.

It's always better to keep your emotions in check, but how to go about doing that is easier said than done. Chances are, there is no substantive reason for you to be emotionally needy, and it will certainly work against you, so it is best to figure out why you behave this way. It is very difficult for some to accept that they can't control their emotions, and that they tend to say and do things that are dysfunctional and inappropriate. Stop blaming others and take responsibility when you say and do inappropriate things. Observer yourself when you're interacting with people to see what it is you're doing wrong. It can be a difficult process to witness and accept.

Lack of emotional self control directly affects your social wellness and many other aspects of your life, so you must make every effort to overcome this dysfunction. You cannot avoid or be in denial about something that is this important and essential to your social wellness. You've got to let go of your fears and insecurities, for they are hurting you. If you continue to be emotionally needy, you will likely lose these people anyway, so why be so scared? Confront your emotions and begin to replace these negative thoughts with positive and healthy feelings and attitude. You can do it, and you must try your best to instill positive change.

Chances are it took you a very long time to become emotionally needy, so it will take significant effort and time to break this cycle and become independent and self-reliant. You must be consistent in your efforts, and little-by-little, step-by-step, you will make progress. It's important to continue to make this effort even when you believe that socially, things are going well. It is important that you recognize the problem and are willing to apply the time, effort, thought, and effort into breaking these emotional dependencies while striving to become a better person. By acknowledging your problem and committing to control or eliminate your dysfunction, you've already taken the first step.

So how can you accomplish this? You're desire and willingness to do to satisfy your needs and your wants make you vulnerable. First stop worrying about things you cannot control. Trying to control or impress people works against you, so if you think you're being witty, funny, and smart, others may disagree with you and think that you're arrogant and obnoxious. You should learn to keep your comments to yourself which at first might be challenging, but will get easier after a while.

While you don't need to be emotionless, rigid, and detached, you do need to be a more independent, capable, self-sufficient, controlled and self-sustaining. You want to get to the point where you can provide for yourself without the help of others. Having to rely on other people to fulfill you every minute of every day is a recipe for failure. Learn to be okay by yourself, and enjoy spending time alone, at peace with oneself.

Also, don't rely on just one person to be your entire social network source. It's unfair to put your needs on another person, even if that person is your partner, best friend, or a family member. It's OK when your partner wants to spend time with friends, or doesn't do or think the same way you do. If this makes you feel threatened, analyze your emotions, so you can stop being needy, insecure, and jealous. Otherwise, your relationship will become unhealthy, dysfunctional and may end. Strengthen your emotions and develop your own relationships.

Emotionally needy relationships are unhealthy, and most will eventually end or become very dysfunctional. Realize that you are hurting your relationship and that needs to stop.

You need to take steps to strengthen your emotions. Strengthening your emotions is a vital part of improving your self-confidence, self-esteem, and ability to social well with others without being emotionally needy. Work on developing your own identity and strengthen your self-reliance to become more independent. It's going to take time and effort but you can do it if you try.


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