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Assessing Your Emotional Intelligence And Strength

Assessing Your Emotional State of Mind

Life is full of situations that we have to endure and overcome. Your awareness of your state of mind plays an important role towards maintaining a high level of emotional wellness. You might say that our thoughts make up who we are and our interpretation of reality. We’re constantly thinking, regardless if we’re awake or sleeping. Whether we realize it or not, every thought generates an emotion that creates a physical and chemical reaction. Of course, we react more to thoughts caused by high stressful drama but we also react to the calm and happy thoughts as well. Regardless of the drama intensity level, we automatically create thoughts that cause a chain reaction; whether good, bad, or ugly. A good example is the fight, flight, or freeze response syndrome. This is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.

Many of our thoughts are a result of us reacting to external situations that arise; while others are of our own doing, through internal self-talk. Regardless of whether we are reacting to an external event, or if our mind is inundated and overwhelmed with our own negative thoughts from past experience, the emotional/physical/chemical, chain reaction occurs. How we perceive, interpret and feel about our thoughts will define our health, behavior, etc. Our thoughts will directly affect how we impact the situation and its outcome. This can have a life altering impact that shouldn’t be overlooked. It ultimately comes down to our ability to self-manage our thoughts and emotions that will make a difference. Trying to maintain a healthy emotional state of mind is a lifelong and ongoing process, that will always be, in some way, imperfect. It’s all about you and your willingness to help yourself.

Excluding an emergency that requires your immediate attention, you should devote a lot of your time and effort on helping yourself. You may be asking yourself why you should focus on yourself with all the things that are going on in your life, and why does it make sense to take the time and make the effort to do things for yourself, when you could be doing something you believe is a more productive way to spend your time and energy. The answer is relatively simple, if you stop and think about. You are the center of everything having to do with “you”, and the better off you are, the better off your situation will be. If you’re not well, it’s difficult to be productive, successful, and happy. Whatever you’re not doing for yourself, you’re doing to yourself.

Everyone’s situation is different and how they choose to confront and deal with their circumstances is unique to the individual. So we’re not going to assume to know anything about your particular circumstances, but we are going to assume that there are things that you can do to help you to become a better person and to live a better life. Heck, we can all do a better job at making ourselves better, improving the lives of others, and to help to make the world a better place.

Before we can figure out what to do and create an effective action plan of where you are going, we should pause to assess your current state of mind and your current situation. The state or level of your emotional health and wellness directly affects your ability to achieve happiness, successful relationships, and a satisfying and rewarding career. It also affects your ability to maintain good physical health, and a well-balanced and well-rounded lifestyle. Your emotional health level is a critical part of living well. It defines who you are, your thoughts, intensions, attitude, and behavior. Emotional self-awareness and self-management are skills that anyone can practice. Below is a little exercise that can be very useful.

The emotional health and wellness assessment worksheet listed below does not provide all the answers, nor should it be the only resource that you use, but it should provide some helpful information that you can use to develop a simple, easy to do, action plan that you can follow now, and in the future.

Write these questions down and answer them honestly, from your heart. No one is judging you, nor should you care if they were. The objective here is not about perfection or being right or wrong, it’s to gain a clear picture of your emotional state of mind, so can make a few minor adjustments that will help you live with the best version of you. The objective is for you to recognize how your thoughts and emotions affect your health, your behavior, and the people around you. Awakening your self-awareness will advance your ability to self-manage your emotions and live a better life.

Do you pay attention to your emotions?
How do you feel mentally and emotionally?
Do you create negative emotional drama? Do you experience a lot of negative emotional drama?
Are you a calm and happy person, or are you easily stressed out, annoyed, and overwhelmed?
Do you tend to be a positive, upbeat happy person, or you are a negative, unhappy, pessimistic "glass half empty" person?
Are you moody, or are you able to maintain a pretty consistent positive attitude?
How often do you experience feelings of anger, sadness, fear, nervousness and anxiety, and do those feeling manifest into physical sensations in places like your stomach, throat, chest or give you a headache?
Do you exercise, eat well, sleep enough, meditate/pray, and drink enough water?
How often do you experience inner-peace, calmness, and harmony with the universe? 
Are you aware of your self-talk (what you say to yourself), and do you purposely practice positive self-talk? 
What do you do for relaxation, fun and leisure, and how often do you get to experience it?
What’s the status of your social life and relationships? Are you able to build and maintain fulfilling healthy relationships? Note: Relationships tend to be complicated, encompassing many factors. Ponder and create new questions and answers to help yourself assess and develop your social wellness.
How flexible are you to learning new things and adapting to change? If so, how often?
Are you a complainer who insists that things must absolutely be a certain way, or else it’s awful, or are you easy going person?
How often do you feel a zest for living, laughing and having fun?
Do you feel that your life has a sense of meaning and purpose?
Do you have a balance between work and play, rest and activity, etc.?
Do you have high self-confidence, high task-confidence, and high self-esteem?
Do you believe that you are an emotionally stabile or unstable person, and from 1 to 10, what is your level of consistency regarding your emotional response to things in any given week?

Take your time to understand the questions and to write your answers. Afterwards, go back and edit your answers over the course of the next few days or weeks. It’s also important that you add your own questions in an effort to gather a crystal clear picture of your state of mind. Although we don’t have the time to get into other aspects of your life-wellness, please take the time to create questions and answers for physical, financial, spiritual, social, intellectual, occupational, and environmental wellness. It’s a great exercise that can create great results.

Consider asking your friends and family members a few questions about you, your behavior, and your strengths and weakness, etc. You may not want to hear the answers to your questions, but if they are sincere and honest, you’ll benefit from listening to their comments. It’s another persons' perspective that may be a little skewed and biased, but so is yours.

The point of this exercise is for you to find areas where you can create new and positive habits and make small, subtle positive changes. This is all about you and the things you can do to help yourself. You have to own and take responsibility for the (big and small) choices that you make every minute of every day of your life. Be proud that you are choosing to make good, healthy choices.


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