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The struggle within us

It's safe to say that everyone faces challenges and obstacles throughout life that prohibit us from achieving all we can be, and living the life we are supposed to live. Of course, some people are blessed from the moment that they are born until the day that they die, while others are much less fortunate. Life is supposed to be imperfect, and it's our responsibility to make the most out of it, and it's up to us to make the most out of what we have.

The ugly truth of the matter is that most people have been exposed to an onslaught of negativity from other people throughout their lives. It is said that we're born perfect, and it's through living that we become imperfect. I believe there is some truth to that. It is that exposure to life and exposure to a lot of screwed up, dysfunctional people that help to make up who we are today. And of course, let us not forget that we are imperfect human beings, capable of creating emotional drama and our own version of reality.

Being exposed to that much negativity will negatively effect, as well as infect, the way that we think. So, it's not a surprise when we have deep rooted bad habits and chronic negative thinking. For many of us, self-sabotage is a "normal" way of life, and it's the only thing we know. Many of us struggle with feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, procrastination, and an unhealthy need for attention. We show signs of dependency, inferiority, addiction, destructive tendencies, self-inflicting pain, fear, personality disorders, etc. Because of the peptides within us, we literally feed into the problem, and make matters worse. It can be a vicious problem that we must struggle with throughout our lives. If not contained, it can lead to a life filled with pain and sorrow, and even an early death.

Let us not forget that we tend to self-indulge  and do what we want, especially when it involves pleasure and satisfaction. Who doesn’t want to feel good, satisfy our desires, and passions and whims, especially without restraint? We’ll make up all kinds of excuses in an effort to justify why we should commit acts of self-sabotage and self-abuse. For example, we’ll eat something that we know that’s unhealthy, telling ourselves that it will make us feel better and take away all our problems and make us happy. It’s so good that it will probably make us feel good for a few minutes, but those sensations disappear quickly, leaving us right back where we started, and just a little more unhealthy. We all do it, so the questions are how bad are we sabotaging ourselves and how often are we do it?

Whatever you’re not do for yourself, you’re doing to yourself. Wow! That sentence sums everything up. When we think about it this way, “if you’re not helping yourself, then you’re hurting yourself”; it becomes so clear and easy to understand. Every choice we make is either helping or hurting us. That’s easy to understand, but the problem is how do we implement the “help or hurt” question into our lifestyle? Well, we can start by making a conscious effort to pause and ask ourselves the “help or hurt” question before doing something throughout the day. We’ll then be able to ascertain which option will help us or hurt us, and how much will the damage cost. We can then make a well informed decision. As with most things, the more often we do it, the more it will become a habit, and can be done with less effort.

Keep in mind that many of the choices we make throughout the day may seem unimportant or insignificant. I can assure that is not the case. Even the small decisions we make can have a cumulative and negative effect over time. Try to envision it this way, you’re a big healthy tree with a lot of branches and leaves. Now take off one or more leaves for every small and negative choice that you make. Now remove an entire branch full of leaves for every big and bad choice that you make that has bigger negative consequences. Plucking a few leaves or a couple of branches may be inconsequential, but if you remove enough, the tree will dry up, become unhealthy, and maybe even die. Envision a big beautiful healthy tree, and then envision a dried up dead tree. Think of this tree before you make any unhealthy and unwise choices. Your objective is to keep your tree as healthy and beautiful as possible for as long as you can. You may benefit by posting a couple of pictures of big beautiful trees in your home, just as a reminder of who you are and what you can be, simply by making good choices, and by stopping actions of self-sabotage and self-abuse.

It's easy to understand why it may seem impossible to change, especially when negativity is mentally, and for some, physically chronic.

Although we probably can't totally eliminate negativity from our thinking, we can minimize it and manage its effects.

But how do we go about creating positive thinking? That is the big question. Well, we can start by becoming more aware of when we're thinking, talking, or doing something negative, and when we're sabotaging ourselves. Then we can start to introduce positive thinking, talking, and behaviors throughout our day.

The last thing we should do is to learn to catch ourselves when we're thinking, talking, or doing something negative, and replace it with something positive.

How difficult this process is will depend on how bad your situation is. It will be a struggle, and for some a fight for life. It's up to you to have fun with it and be creative.

It took a long time and a lot of negativity to get you to where you are today, so it will probably take you some time and effort to get to a place of inner positivity, and consistent feelings of high self-esteem and self-confidence. It's a wonderful thing, and you can get there if you want to. You may have struggles within yourself for a while, but know that you can do it if you allow it and empower yourself.

Understand that changing the way you think will drastically improve your life, and know that you are so worth the effort.

Once you get there, you'll experience greater independence, and with that comes a life that you've never experienced before. You can now live the life you were supposed to live, without self-imposed limitations and destructive tendencies.

Sure, you will still face external challenges, but you will not be hurting yourself and sabotaging yourself. And that will make a huge, huge difference in your life.

This is not about perfection, for that will never happen. It's about striving to progress, while enjoying the journey of life.

As with most things in life, small, simple steps in the right direction will get you to where you want to go. Patience and consistency are key factors in your ability to achieve health, success, and happiness.


 Choose wisely and enjoy the journey.



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